SHARON, US PUBLIC IN COMA

NYC (WPI) - As Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon lies dangerously close to death in a drug induced coma to relieve pressure after his life saving brain surgery the average American citizen yawns with complacency.

Normally fascinated and enthusiastic about the internal politics of a tiny non-English speaking nation half way around the world, Americans seem both distracted and disinterested in the doings of Zion.

Their appears to be a single cause for the somnambulation regarding the Jewish parliamentary crisis: Iraq

“I just don’t have the space in my brain for Israel right now,” said saleswoman Julie August, on Fifth Ave. in Manhattan. “Every day more American soldiers are killed in Iraq. Dozens of innocent civilians are blown up. I can only follow one nation’s disasters at a time.”

That is the theme repeated by many Americans across the country.

“Frankly, I used to live for the news from Israel but it simply has to take a back seat to Iraq. I mean, those are our guys over there, “ said Don Su-Mei a physician’s assistant from Des Moines.

“I really cared about Israel until the war started,” claimed Rob DeVooters, a clerk with the local Board of Education in Richmond, Va. “But when tv started showing the pictures of those people in their black robes, dancing in the streets, shooting their guns, and making that freaky lu-lu-lu-lu-lu sound, well, I just fell in love with them. I couldn’t help myself. Now Israel just leaves me cold.”

“I know the guy’s sick (Sharon) and I’m supposed to care about it, but I don’t, “ claimed Seth Adoan a long distance trucker from Silver Springs Co. “There’s way more action in Iraq everyday.”

“I was caught up when they built that big Berlin-style fence and then beat up all those settlers, but you know what? Big deal. That’s all the same s–t that’s been happening there for like, thirty years. It’s tired, you know.” said Kent Reed, a student at Atlanta’s Community College.

“Let’s face it, Americans know a hell of a lot more about Israel then they do about Canada for God’s sake. But who can keep two Middle East countries straight?” asked Fran Chize, an eyeglass technician from Pacific Palisades.

“Hey Bush, hey TV- one dirty, crappy desert country at a time awright?” asked an exasperated Rip Sacket a grocery clerk , from Brooklyn.