WAL MART BUYS RAYTHEON, LOCKHEED/MARTIN

Cash rich Co. to diversify

Little Rock, (WPI) - Acting swiftly on the 200 billion dollar influx of cash from selling 40% of its stock to a Chinese financial conglomerate, the Wal-Mart Corporation today announced plans to purchase the nation’s leading defense contractors, Raytheon and Lockheed/Martin. Combined, the two companies represent approximately 85% of the design and manufacturing of US weapons systems.

Lockheed/Martin is also heavily involved in the construction of the Space Shuttle.

Speaking to a gathering of financial reporters, Wal-Mart president Steven “Spanky” Walton said, “This is a natural fit for our organization. Sam’s Club and Wal-Mart own 87% of domestic dry-goods retail sales- we have a lot to protect!”

Promising to employ the trade-mark goal of “Always Lower Prices” Walton asserted that there will be a substantial reduction in defense costs. Flanked by the stoic new Wal-Mart Chairman Yu Shau Sei, Mr. Walton declared that, “Our management style, our tremendous expertise in crunching numbers, people and suppliers will surely result in significant savings for the US taxpayer.”

Pending approvals from various government agencies the sale is expected to be completed soon.