CELEBS FIGHT FOR SPOTLIGHT AT KING FUNERAL

Oprah arranges props

LITHONIA, Ga. (WPI) - Black celebrities are jockeying with one another, battling security guards and cutting in front of ordinary mourners as they rush to have their pictures taken at this year’s hottest publicity event, the Coretta Scott King funeral.

Yesterday the event was marred by a shoving match which erupted between bodyguards of rapper Dr. Assin’ T. and members of Starr Jones’ entourage. Both celebrities arrived at the funeral simultaneously and tried entering together. Funeral managers blocked both groups stating that only one celebrity was permitted to take pictures at a time. Eventually, Jones was allowed in after funeral organizers contacted The National Enquirer for a ruling on status

Neither celebrity would speak to the press.

“This is a very solemn moment in Black American history,” read a statement released by ABC, “The press should honor Ms. Jones’ private mourning. She may be seen tomorrow at 11AM discussing her experience on ‘The View,’ on most ABC affiliates.”

The general public, forced to wait for hours in near-freezing temperatures to get a fleeting walk-past of Ms. Kings’s casket, are not happy with the preference being given to celebrities.

“First Oprah shows up and nobody else can enter for three hours while they set up lights and take picture,” complained Rufus Omyhed, a retired plumber’s assistant from Montgomery Alabama, “I marched with Mrs. King and now I gotta wait in line while Will Smith’s wife puts on a designer dress and veil to get’s her picture took? It don’t make sense.”

Not everyone was as negative about the circumstances however.


“I’m so excited,” gushed student Shawanda Farahwaye, on the rumor that rapper Ded ‘N Kidd Ded was slated to appear, “We tried to get him for my debutante party but he was arrested. I never thought I get a chance to see him!”

Employees at the Georgia Capitol where Mrs. King’s body was displayed complained too.

“We had to move that casket around for 45 minutes ‘till Oprah’s photographer liked how it looked.” said Kennpica Baylekotin, a security guard hired for the funeral.

Authorities are deciding today if they will extend the display another day to accommodate the requests for photographs.

“We will be making that determination later this morning,” said Sheckie Winedollar of Super Events in Atlanta, the company producing the funeral, “Many, many requests have come in for private viewings. At a certain point the level of celebrity will drop off and we’ll pull the plug. There will be a press announcement later.”