ECONOMIC NEWS_____

BLOATED KRAFT COMMITS TO LOSE

Philedelphia, (WPI) - The maker of Oreo cookies, DiGiorno pizza, pre-packaged lunches, canned cheese sprays, and taffy-like cheese products announced on Monday a three-year plan to trim 8 percent of its workers, 8,000 jobs, and shed 20 production plants worldwide.

The announcement came even as Kraft passed its fourth quarter fisical which showed a marked improvement in "good PPS," Profit Per Share surpassing the expectations of Wall Street's specialists.

Kraft had been trying to stick to a previous cost-cutting program it started in early 2004. The company has managed to shed 5,500 workers and dropped 19 whole plants. Kraft’s target is to lose a total of about 13,500 employees and trim 40 bulky facilities by the end of 2008.

“We’re so excited by this new restructuring plan!” gushed then CEO Betsy Holden in 2004, “I really think we can do it this time. We’ve started and stopped so many times before but this time I really feel like we can succeed!”

Animal parts, meat, coffee, plastics, packaging, commodities and transportation have piled up, adding “tons” to the company profile. Management has tried to control itself but costs have nibbled away at the bottom line of Kraft over the last year. At its regular Monday morning “weigh in” with investors Kraft claimed commodity costs soared more than $800 million in 2005.

“I tried, I really tried,” said a tearful Holden.

Crude oil prices have also been a factor in the company’s ballooning expense profile.

“Many of our products are very petroleum intensive,” said company spokesman Phyllis Witjunke, “Our most popular cheese food items- Lunchables, Unbreakable String Cheese, Cheeze Whiz, Whiz in a Can, numerous processed meat-type products, dry cheese-like packaged products- and others, especially those marketed to children, contain a high concentration of petroleum derived ingredients. Oil prices are so rich they are just wrecking efforts to control our consumption.”

Kraft is 86 percent owned by Altria Group Inc., the parent of tobacco company Philip Morris. Altria has repeatedly stated it plans to spin off Kraft once it settles outstanding litigation hanging over the tobacco business.

“We may need to gut Kraft if the settlements are too large. I just want Americas to know that many of their favorite products are at risk over this frivolous lawsuit,” said Altria CEO Terry Fiede, “Lunchable Snacks, Oreos, Cheese Whiz, Macaroni and Cheese, Velveta- they may all disappear if twelve of our fellow citizens choose to punish a company for the actions of a few well informed consumers.”

Kraft said it hopes to trim its product line by another 10 percent, atop the 20 percent goal of 2004. Witjunke said the company would use whatever savings the firings and plant closings yield to strengthen its remaining brands. Kraft is trying to improve its product mix by shedding low-margin items in favor of more profitable, healthier offerings.

“By healthier we mean to our bottom line,” explained Witjunke.
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BUSH: ‘America is Addicted to OIL’

Washington (WPI) - Former oil executive President Bush took the bold step of blaming consumers for the nation’s “crack-like” dependence on foreign oil. In his State of the Union address Bush lashed out at Americans saying, “You people were weak,” that “the public doesn't know how to say ‘NO’,” and admonishing, “Look at yourselves, you’re a disgrace!.”

Bush declared his intention to appoint an “Energy Czar” to try to control the flow of foreign oil into this country and develope a program for school children to help them turn down the use of oil.

Read complete story: http://internationalblognews.blogspot.com/oil-junkies
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EXXONMOBILE: OIL PROFITS KINGPIN

New York, (WPI) Reputed Oil dealer ExxonMobile reported the largest annual profit in U.S. corporate history Monday, a $36.1 billion jackpot that included a record-setting fourth quarter.

Exxon earned $10.7 billion, or $116 million every 24 hours, in 2005's final quarter, up 27% from the same period one year earlier.

Quarterly revenue of $99.7 billion was 19.5% higher than last year's fourth quarter. For the year, Exxon took in $371 billion - equal to the total annual economic output of Argentina and Thailand.

The lucrative earnings report made company heads fearful of being busted by federal regulators and harassed by frightened consumers. In an attempt to legitimize their activities, the company took out ads in major newspapers arguing that its profit as a percentage of sales was not out of line with other industries. Oil and gas industry profits of were less than half that of the Big Drug companies according to the Exxon ad.

“Hey man, we are just responding to the market,” said Rapper Lil’ Cock-A-Mammy, a company spokesman. “The dudes want the stuff, we sell it. We ain’t doing nuffin wrong!”

Read complete story: http://internationalblognews.blogspot.com/crack-for-oil-plan