MEDIA STOCKS SKYROCKET ON DISASTER

That's Entertainment!

New York (WPI) - Share prices of the major media companies shot up yesterday as the full dimension of the hurricane disaster began to unfold.

Catastrophe is gold for TV, movies, magazines and books.” said Rich Koldart a media analyst for Smith Barney in Manhattan. “Ruin and destruction are the stuff of entertainment. TV ratings for Good Morning America, The Today Show and Sixty Minutes II have already gone through the roof. Ratings translate into advertising and that translates into profits.”

Untter Derrok, professor of Media studies at New York University agreed. “Whenever you have a vast arena of human suffering, especially if it involves Americans and white ones at that, you have a great potential for heart rending stories to be played out women’s magazines and endless made for tv movies.”

“When something like this happens we hire a cross section of personal injury lawyers, local talent agents, and high school drama coaches to spread out and sign victims to ‘first person’ contracts,” said publisher Seth Onlilyes of Harper Books. “They search local media for tragedies or heroic tales, locate the folks involved and for fifty dollars we sign them to a first-refusal deal. For every 100 we sign, we end up with maybe one big seller.”

“Some would say this is crude and cruel but suffering, for the media, is a commodity, “ said television producer Eve Ovdestruchen. “Audiences live for tragedy and the giddy relief of contrived salvation. It’s what sells the beer and soap.”

Shares of Time-Warner ended up the day up 12 points at 31.29; Shares of Viacom closed at 44.23 an increase of 11 points; and Sony Pictures was up to 45.22 with a pick up of 12.5.