ROVE TO PRESS CORP: FOCUS ON CRIME

Find some criminals!


Washington, (WPI) - At what associates call a “Cabinet-Level” meeting yesterday Karl Rove, President Bush’s chief political advisor, summoned key members of the media to find a response to the devastation of Hurricane Katrina.

Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O’Reilly, Michael Savage, Tucker Carlson, Ann Coulter, Katherine Harris, Robert Novak , Rupert Murdoch, Sun Young Moon and others hurried to the White House to formulate a unified response to the tragedy.

“It is vital that we do everything we can to help,“ Bradley Tanke, an aide to Limbaugh said. “This tragedy has devastated the President’s reputation. We have to get recovery operations under way as soon as possible.”

The gathering is highly unusual and suggests the severity of the situation. The last time they met was just before the 2002 election to coordinate the “Swift Boat Veterans for Truth” project.

“It is extremely rare that these highly paid experts are mustered in person,” said Les Rellevante, Professor of Media Studies at New York University. “It suggests that the devastation is much more widespread than anyone could have predicted!” he said.

“First, they have to find a dramatic distraction, “ explained famous playwright David Mamet, an occasional adviser to President Clinton. “They need a person or event to identify as the cause for Bush’s failure to act. It should be resonate with traditional American prejudices, there needs to be ‘witnesses’ and the best thing is video tape. They will replay it at every opportunity accompanied by ever improving ‘details.’”

An assistant to Mr. O”Reilly, a young blonde woman who asked to remain anonymous said, “They talked a lot about looting on the flight down here. They don’t have any footage or witnesses to actual shootings or rapes but they’re pretty sure they can find some. I think they want to focus on crime. You know, scary young Black guys with guns.”

Tia Coffee, Professor of Television Studies at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School concurred. “In the media it’s known as, BIGWIG, for ‘Black Guys With Guns.’ It’s the building block of Neocon propaganda- that and faux-Christianity. We teach it as “Black Devils & White Angels.” It’s very standard stuff in the US. Of course, it doesn’t fly in any other part of the world, but it’s white America’s model national fear. Even after 9/11 it still tests bigger than Arabs and terrorist looking guys!”

Mr. Rellevante said, “In the next few days Mr. Bush’s supporters will likely start to carp incessantly on the alleged crime and looting.
They’ll try to shift focus off the suffering of thousands of innocent families and claim that ‘widespread violence’ kept rescuers away. It’s thin but when you have a machine like theirs anything is possible.”

Added Ms. Coffee, “Throw in a few evangelicals like Robertson (Pat Robertson) to label the hurricane as a punitive ‘Act of God’ and the package is complete. In a week the public will blame the whole catastrophe on the victims.”