PRESIDENT GOES HIGH CONCEPT

Hollywood is listening!

Washington, (WPI) - Appearing before a hastily assembled group of veterans at the National Guard Association yesterday President Bush unraveled a scary scenerio about an aircraft hijacking that, “almost happened right here in America!”

In what many experts characterize as a “cautionary tale” rather then a “Ghost Story,” “Tall Tale,” “yarn,” or film treatment, Mr. Bush unfolded a frighteningly familiar story of an airplane being hijacked and flown into a city’s tallest building by arab extermests.

The President relied on the distant, but stark communal memory of 9/11 to add effect and impact to his narrative.

Mr. Bush said that just a month after the attacks in New York and Washington, terrorists planned to grab another airplane using "shoe bombs" to breach the cockpit door. Once inside the terrorists would hold the crew, flight attendants, and deeply frightened passengers hostage with pens and pencils secretly carried on board in harmless pocket protectors. Once firmly in control of the aircraft the terrorists would fly flown to their target, the U.S. Bank Tower, in Los Angeles, home of Hollywood and capitol of the film industry. The highly recognizable structure graced the classic opening of each "Dragnet" program!

(In a separate, supporting press release, unidentified “Government Counterterrorism officials,” asserted that the tower would indeed be a particularly inviting target.)

In a significant plot twist, the terrorists would not be the standard swarthy “middle-eastern type,” but much more devious and less threatening “asian-types.” (Executives from Warner Brothers, who according to reports on E! have taken an option on the President’s story, have said that the terrorists will likely be changed to a more generic southeast Asian or Filipino type to not offend the important Asian markets.)

The President even invoked the name of, “The One Whose Name We Do Not Speak,” Osama Bin Laden in his pitch.

"Their plot was derailed in early 2002 when a "Southeast Asian nation" arrested a key Al Qaeda operative," Mr. Bush said. "Subsequent debriefings and ‘other intelligence operations’ (industry code for torture) made clear the intended target and how Al Qaeda hoped to execute it."

Giving a spooky sense of reality to the story was the fact that the independent commission that investigated Sept. 11 claimed that Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, the architect of the 9/11 attacks, had originally planned an even broader assault on America, with as many as 10 hijacked aircraft flying into buildings on both coasts! Though this was never confirmed it did boost sales of the report released in 2004.

The report mentioned several “mysterious moslems” who may show up in future revisions of the Presidents story.

* Ali Abu Franstien- a disenfranchised Jew who has joined Al Queda after his wife and son were killed by Israeli security forces removing them from their West Bank settlement.

* Ali Babba Vlad- a secretive Saudi Arabian figure alleged to be a billionaire financier and mastermind.

*Mohammed Ali “Bones”- a psychotic Jehadist ready to slash throats at the drop of a veil with his “Blade of ALAH,” hand made from the femur of a Russian Jew while he was interred in an Afghan detention camp.

* Sun Young Moonbeam a beautiful Japanese/Lebanese ninja with a bachelors degree in English from Bryn Mawr, a Masters in Computer Science from Newton College and a PHD in aerospace engineering from Berkeley.

The President refused to say if his Domestic Wiretapping Program played any role in thwarting the envisioned plot.

(Industry insiders who have seen the President’s treatment says that a character similar to Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan heads a small group of specialists wiretapping Chinese Restaurants in San Francisco!)

“I’m not giving the ending away!” chimed the laughing Chief Executive.