Shiite Clerics Join Call for US Judicial Reform

Bagdad, 4/18: The largest group of Iraqi Shiite Clerics today joined Republican Tom Delay in a call for judical reform in America. The call came at a rally, organized by the radical cleric Moktada Sadr and believed to be the largest demonstration since US troops entered the country.

“O God, cut off their necks, the way they are cutting off our necks and terrorizing us”, Sadr’s representative Sheikh Nasir Saïdi, reading a speech from his chief. “There will be no peace, no security, until the judges stop terrorizing the people!”

Iraqi flags fluttered in the sea of demonstrators, many of whom were dressed in the uniform of Sadr’s Mahdi Army militia. More still wore green and black headbands, the new American symbol of the “Judicial War Against Faith.”

Sadr followers said the rally was the first of many to pressure the American Congress to enact sweeping changes stripping the power of judges to determine the constitutionality of legislation. “The people elect their representatives, not judges,” Sadr wrote. “It is the will of the congress that judges must obey. There can be no ‘balance of powers’ when judges disregard the intent of legislation.”

Sadr was parroting Aman Delay, as he is called, who has claimed that the judicial branch of government should not have its balancing powers to determine if legislation is constitutional. “These SOB’s in their black robes have been terrorizing Americans for generations, just go back and see what they did with Jim Crow, I won’t even go near Roe v. Wade!” Delay blazed recently at an outdoor rally in Mississippi, later rebroadcast in Iran. Many at the rally were dressed in white robes and faceless pointy hats, the uniform of Delay's Republican "Judicial War Against Faith” militia.

"Judges are mostly lawyers anyway, so I rest my case!” Delay concluded to thunderous applause.