RAYTHEON GETS $11bln MISSILE DEFENSE SHIELD CONTRACT

Funding ignites project

Walpole, (WPI) - Raytheon has been awarded a $11 billion contract from the Defense Department to build, test and deliver the next phase of the planned “National Missile Defense Shield.”

“This is an important day for the owners, managers and employees of this great company,” said Ratheon CEO, Payne Grafft, “All America will rest safer once our ‘Star Wars’ shield is in place.”

Grafft was flanked by new Ratheon owner Steven “Spanky” Walton, CEO of Wal-Mart and Yu Shau Sei of Bejjing, newly named Chairman of the Little Rock based retail chain.

“This contract is good for America, American workers and our many suppliers and sub-contractors,” claimed Grafft. “This project will create jobs, and guarantee them for decades to come. Nothing is more American then that!” He shouted to the throngs of workers gathered for the announcement.

The controversial project, brainchild of Ronald Regan in the last few years of his presidency, has been lagging in recent years as it sought to prove itself. Scientific critics claim the physics are too complex and the system, designed to shoot down long range ICBMs, will not adequately protect the country.

“It’s a monumental rip-off,” said Jack Reed (D-RI) a member of the Armed Services Committee, “A least one-third of all nuclear missiles are submarine based. This so-called shield doesn’t do anything to stop them. It’s a joke. A sad, Alzheimer’s driven fantasy that will cost taxpayers billions.”

“This project is absurd,” said Senator Joe Biden (D-Del) who serves on the senate Foreign Affirs Committee. “It’s just another Republican payoff for huge campaign contributions from the defense industry.”

A joint statement, issued later by Walton and Shau Sei said, “The cynical dogs who criticize this contract are enemies of the people and the Republic. A bright new day is dawning in America, one in which the enemies of progress will shrivel up and vanish under the burning light of Truth.”