Teens Credit ‘Higher Power’ With Catastrophe

Faith sails off into the sunset


CHARLESTON, WPI - Josh Long and Troy Driscoll were rescued yesterday after nearly a week adrift at sea. The boys went fishing for shark in their small sailboat on April 24. Forecasters that day were warning boaters about rough conditions. The winds and current drove their small 14' sailboat far offshore and the teens began to realize they might be in trouble.

“That was the first time I said a prayer,” said Long. “At that point I still had faith.”

As the boys drifted further away from home they lost their bait and later pitched their fishing rods. “We didn’t think we’d need the rods. We thought they would be too much trouble to hang onto,” said Driscoll. “ Thanks God, for letting us do that!” added Long.

At night the boys clung together. They spent the days searching in vain for help. At first, To keep their spirts up, they prayed and sang hymns. “Fat lot of good that did!” snarled Driscoll.

Long said, “Here we are in the middle of the ocean- we’re starving, dying of thirst, freezing wet and realizing we’re gonna die a miserable death, our bodies will be chewed up by fish, our parents will never even find any remains to bury and we’re singing praise to God?? We looked at each other and said, like, ‘What, are we stupid?’ God did this shit to us and we’re sayin’ ‘Thanks!?”

“We felt so stupid!” added Driscoll.

Long said he gargled with saltwater to keep his throat moist and Driscoll tried eating some jellyfish tentacles. "I saw them in the water and ate two little strings off of one and the next day I was fine," Driscoll said. "It was nasty and the aftertaste made me almost puke. But so what, it couldn’t get any worse."

Long refused to try them. “Out in the middle of the ocean, it’s ‘full of God’s Bounty,’ they told me in Sunday School, so what does the He provide? A couple of poisonous little jellyfish!” Long muttered venomously. “How about a tuna, God? Or a sea bass? Or a slimy little eel or even some sea weed?” the boy shouted angrily, shaking his fist at the ceiling.

After almost a week, the boys were rescued by a fishing boat. “I had just finished cursing God and pledging my soul to Satan when the sky cleared and we could see a boat on the horizon,” Driscoll described that morning. “Sure, we were glad to be rescued but we really didn’t care anymore. I mean, who wants to live in a world where God does shit like that to a couple of innocent kids, ya’ know?” asked Long.

“God damn right, “ added Driscoll, “Screw Him.”