BUSH ENCOURAGES FEMA, EVACUEES

Brownie and Blackies- you're doing a heck of a job!

Washington (WPI) - President Bush today encouraged residents of from New Orleans to cooperate with authorities and evacuate the city. Speaking with GMA’S Mellody Hobson the President said that the rescue effort was progressing well and urged anyone remaining to leave.

“New Orleans is a cesspool right now. Mr. Bush added,laughing, "In the old days, when I used to 'induldge,' we used to call the Red light District 'The Cesspool' but now the whole city really is one!”

The President spoke with concern for the plight of the evacuees, “I know people are scared. I know they don’t want to leave their homes or property, but look ya’ll don’t have much and I promise that this government will do everything it can to get you new stuff.”

Then Mr. Bush announced, “Vice President Cheney is meeting today with Kellog Brown & Root, a company whose business is providing disaster relief services, and people from Wal-Mart. They are going to sit down and negociate how to divide up federal funds to replace the stuff these refugees lost in this terrible flood.”

Mr Bush appeared to embarrassed Hobson slightly when he reffered to a different television network. “This relief effort is finally coming together the way it should!” he said. “Just look at the Fox News, there’s lots of really great rescue footage. It's workin'”

The President closed his interview with a word of encouragement for both FEMA boss Michael Brown and the citizens of New Orleans. “I said it before, and I’m not afraid to say it again- Brownie, you’re doing a heck of a job. You Blackies, you’re doing a heck of a job too. God bless you all!”