McDONALDS INTROS 'FAMILY VALUES' MEAL
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Atlanta, WPI - McDonalds Corporation has quietly begun offering “Family Values” meals in select regions of the US, primarily in conservative southern states. The meals feature pieces of fish or chicken formed into the shape of a cross, a hamburger with two cross-shaped “cheeses of Nazareth,” and a new ground, “Lamb of God,” burger made from mutton.
“We must constantly keep up with trends,” said Marketing Director Kathleen Coulde by phone. “McDonalds has always been the leader in innovative fast-food marketing, we try to respond quickly to new rages in American culture.”
Sales of the traditional Value Meals have been eroding and officials hope that new 'theme' oriented products will spur sales much as green ketchup did tying into 'Shrek.'
Critics however point to the company’s failure to sign a promotional tie-in with Mel Gibson on the DVD release of his blockbuster film, “The Passion of the Christ,” earlier this year.
“We were close to a deal,” said Jude Trattoro, VP of Promotions, from his office in Pasadena. “But the price was too high. Don’t get me wrong I love Mel, but he wanted to nail us to a cross too!”
In the end an agreement was struck. Gibson’s Bloodline Marketing Group supplies the toys for the Family Values Meals. “There is a series of small whips, plastic spears and washable tattoos,” Said Steven Gorey, spokesman for Bloodline. “The tats are really cool. We have one that looks like a gash from being pierced by a spear and a collectable series of deep whip marks and dripping blood. They are very graphic and realistic. Kids just love ‘em!”
Close to signing a deal too is James Caviezel, the actor who portrayed Jesus in the film. Mr. Caviezel will appear in a series of ads with Ronald McDonald later this year.
The meals feature all new packaging. Ketchup packets are blank saying only, “Jesus shed his blood for you,” Drink cups have a bible history game and quotes from the Beatitudes. The french fry boxes show an outline of marching Roman soldiers carrying fry-like spears.
Deserts feature two Ten Commandment cookies, licorice Cat-O-Nine tails or Mt. Calvary McFlurry topped with thorn shaped sprinkles.
“So far the reaction has been good,” said Coulde. “Our focus group research showed the ‘Values Voter’ craze is really taking off. The media is flogging it, if you’ll pardon the expression, airing any wacky cult or self-anointed preacher abusing Gays or Moslems or the decline of society. And now- that new Pope!"
“This merciless media crusade might create a whole new brand of Christian Consumerism,” added Gorey. “It could be bigger then the ‘X-Treme’ marketing of the ‘90's, and that was a monster!”
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Atlanta, WPI - McDonalds Corporation has quietly begun offering “Family Values” meals in select regions of the US, primarily in conservative southern states. The meals feature pieces of fish or chicken formed into the shape of a cross, a hamburger with two cross-shaped “cheeses of Nazareth,” and a new ground, “Lamb of God,” burger made from mutton.
“We must constantly keep up with trends,” said Marketing Director Kathleen Coulde by phone. “McDonalds has always been the leader in innovative fast-food marketing, we try to respond quickly to new rages in American culture.”
Sales of the traditional Value Meals have been eroding and officials hope that new 'theme' oriented products will spur sales much as green ketchup did tying into 'Shrek.'
Critics however point to the company’s failure to sign a promotional tie-in with Mel Gibson on the DVD release of his blockbuster film, “The Passion of the Christ,” earlier this year.
“We were close to a deal,” said Jude Trattoro, VP of Promotions, from his office in Pasadena. “But the price was too high. Don’t get me wrong I love Mel, but he wanted to nail us to a cross too!”
In the end an agreement was struck. Gibson’s Bloodline Marketing Group supplies the toys for the Family Values Meals. “There is a series of small whips, plastic spears and washable tattoos,” Said Steven Gorey, spokesman for Bloodline. “The tats are really cool. We have one that looks like a gash from being pierced by a spear and a collectable series of deep whip marks and dripping blood. They are very graphic and realistic. Kids just love ‘em!”
Close to signing a deal too is James Caviezel, the actor who portrayed Jesus in the film. Mr. Caviezel will appear in a series of ads with Ronald McDonald later this year.
The meals feature all new packaging. Ketchup packets are blank saying only, “Jesus shed his blood for you,” Drink cups have a bible history game and quotes from the Beatitudes. The french fry boxes show an outline of marching Roman soldiers carrying fry-like spears.
Deserts feature two Ten Commandment cookies, licorice Cat-O-Nine tails or Mt. Calvary McFlurry topped with thorn shaped sprinkles.
“So far the reaction has been good,” said Coulde. “Our focus group research showed the ‘Values Voter’ craze is really taking off. The media is flogging it, if you’ll pardon the expression, airing any wacky cult or self-anointed preacher abusing Gays or Moslems or the decline of society. And now- that new Pope!"
“This merciless media crusade might create a whole new brand of Christian Consumerism,” added Gorey. “It could be bigger then the ‘X-Treme’ marketing of the ‘90's, and that was a monster!”
**********************************************
Related Stories....
Gay Bashing Preacher ‘Rev. Hutch’ photographed giving man hummer... hutcherson_may_day_for_marriage.jpg
posted by World News Intl. at 10:02 AM
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