GIRL 11, EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL IN 'INTELLIGENT DESIGN' FLAP

Dowery in hapier times

Dover, Pa. (WPI) - When pretty Dowery Magellan went to school on Monday the furthest thing from her mind was the possibility of being expelled. But that’s exactly what happened to the personable 11 year old when she returned to Dover Hills Christian Academy in Dover Pa.

What Dowery really feared as she approached the school she had attended for seven years was having to face her peers. The girl was deeply humiliated and ashamed. On the previous Friday Dowery had left school in tears and outrage when her first menstrual period exploded like a bomb inside her brand new Old Navy white pants.

“I was just sitting in science class and we were reading the book, "Of Pandas and People," Mrs. Peterbuilt was explaining about Intelligent Design.” The petite girl explained to WPI. “My stomach hurt but I thought it was just from eating too fast at lunch. Then I felt wet between my legs. I looked down and my pants were soaked with blood. I guess I just started screaming.”

Dowery’s teacher rushed to help the girl, trying to calm her and wrapped a sweater around her waste. The girl calmed slightly.

“It seems her mother had never told Dowery about ‘the Visit,’ said the matronly 54 year old teacher. “When it arrived the poor girl thought she was dying.”

What happened next is in some dispute. Apparently in her effort to calm the hysterical girl Mrs. Peterbuilt tried to make the event an example of “God’s will” and referred to the process as part of “God’s glorious process of reproduction.”

“The teacher said that my bleeding all over the place and wrecking my pants was an example of “Intelligent Design.’ I guess I just started screaming at her. I don’t remember it all too well.”

“Dowery just went nuts,” said a student who wished to remain anonomyous for feear of reprisals. “She started screaming and swearing stuff like, ‘You call THIS intelligent?!’ Blood is pouring out from between my legs and you say I should 'rejoice in God’s plan?!’ Are you f—ing crazy?”

The tirade continued even as the school nurse arrived to take control.

“She started in on it too,” said Dowery. She went, ‘Oh, this is all God’s divine plan for human reproduction!’ stuff. I’m standing there in front of all the boys and my friends bleeding to death and they are going on and on about God. I didn’t feel too friendly toward God right that minute! I guess I lost it.”

According to School Principle Adolph Saltsimmons young Dowery launched into a tirade that was, “Abusive to Christian doctrine, blasphemous and profane. These were not words easily forgiven. I’m afraid Ms. Magellen has exerted an extremely bad influence on her peers and we cannot forgive that.”

Another Dover Academy teacher, also speaking anonymously for fear of reprisals, who came down the hall after hearing the screams said, “The poor child had lost her mind. She was saying things like,’If God does sh-t like this then to hell with him!’ and, ‘I wet myself and ruin my brand new pants so I can have a baby? You people are crazy. There’s nothing “intelligent” about any of this mess!’ It was most distressing.”

When Dowery went to school Monday she was met by Mr. Saltsimmons who escorted her to the office where she was informed that she was expelled. He parents were called and told to pick the girl up. They had no comment on their attorney’s recommendation.

“We simply will not have sound Christian dogma denigrated publicly, especially by a child. It is most dangerous that other students should be exposed to this extreme and derogatory viewpoint. Plus the cursing was very unladylike.”

“Well, they were my pants not his,” replied Dowery.

The matter will now likely move to County Court.